I'm gonna be a mom!!!!

Estimated due date: June 13, 2008

10 weeks 2 days pregnant!

Yay!!! What a wonderful blessing from God!!

The staircase.....theives....and cops.

I love this story....it is a true story of the mysterious staircase of Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

As the story goes...the chapel was constructed in the 19th century by an architect who died suddenly, and after much of the chapel was constructed, the builders realized it was lacking a stairway to the choir loft. A standard staircase could not fit in the small chapel.
The nuns, desparately needing a way to the loft, prayed for nine days (a novena to St. Joseph--who was a carpenter). On that last day of prayer a mysterious stranger, who was a carpenter, knocked on the door and told them he could build the staircase they needed.

He constructed a spiral staircase by himself, consisting of 33 stairs. After it was completed he disappeared without waiting for his payment. The identity of this man is still unknown.

Architects, engineers, and scientists could not understand how the staircase could stand and balance by itself because it didn't have a central support beam. The carpenter also didn't use any nails or glue.

Another mystery to the staircase was the wood it was made of. The wood used in the staircase does not exist in that entire region.

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What I think is also interesting about this story is what skeptics have to say about it. And I believe what the skeptics say is probably very true also.

Of course, skeptics are quick to debunk anything labeled "mysterious" or "miraculous"...so they add phrases like "As the tale continues..." or that "this legend has improved over time like good wine" and so forth. They point out these details:

*The original architect died suddenly because he caught the eye of the wife of the bishop's nephew, and this nephew shot him.

*The mysterious carpenter was identified as Francois-Jean Rochas because of a death notice in 1895 describing him as "an expert in wood who built the staircase in Loretto Chapel".

*In a log book kept by the nuns, an entry was found for the payment of $150.00 for wood for the staircase.

*The staircase is built in such a way that the inner circle radius is small enough to act as a central support beam.

*The staircase is dangerous and did not have hand rails until added at a later date.

*It is springy.

*The nuns were frightened to climb it, and came down from the stair case on hands and knees.

*The wood used is identified as part of a family that has ten species in North America.

*Although never mentioned, there is an iron brace that stabilizes the staircase.
(And I want to point out here that underneath a picture of this brace, it's stated that it "reveals the 'miracle' is a partial one."......Huh?? Is there such a thing as a "partial miracle"???)

And leave an end note that it is not "miraculous, it's human...quite fallibly human".



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It's as if skeptics want readers to believe that this story is just a bunch of fabrication and legend to stir up minds. To believe that "the fools will be fooled". And that people must be idiots to hang their hat on this stuff. You think?

I wanted to point out what they skeptics say only because I don't feel that any of their points prove that this isn't a miracle. Yes, there are many human elements involved, but isn't that true of most miracles? So what?

The nuns prayed. God heard. God intervened and answered....
At just the right moment!!
It's miraculous!!


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I think a lot of skeptics are athiests. Or, it seems to me that most athiests are athiests for the same reason that skeptics are skeptics. They seem to question the same things.

I've recently heard this saying for the first time while listening to a radio broadcast. The speaker said, "An athiest doesn't find God for the same reason that a thief doesn't find a policeman."
I think that's very true....neither seem to be really wanting to find him.
In a way, I admire skeptics. I really do. They refuse to be made a fool (from a worldly intellectual perspective). Therefore, they will not believe something without hard, concrete evidence. And I can understand that.

It's the interpretation of the definition of "evidence" that makes the difference.

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I think there is a crossing over that has to occur in the heart and mind of skeptics for God to be found. And when that happens, "evidence" will have a whole new meaning. What will be known is something more concrete and more evident than the materialistic, physical definition of "evidence" they once had.

This is why faith and belief is always a personal matter of the heart. It can't be tracked down by bloodhounds, or proved by an equation the same way love between a parent and child can't.

Another thing I wonder...Why do they state that this (the staircase) is "humanly fallible"....as if they're admitting that being human is indeed fallible. I think a lot of people that read, or maybe even wrote these things probably don't believe in God at all...they look for every way to discredit the idea.

So.....why is it that being human is also being fallible? ...I want to ask them...if they don't believe in an infallible devine...
Aren't they comparing themselves to some absolute standard?

Do you really wonder why a theif can't find a cop?

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"The foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." 1 Corinthians 1:27

Signs and dream meanings....

Do you believe that "signs" or messages can be given to us just in a regular moment of the day?...Or through our dreams at night?

Personally, I believe this happens.

Recently, my mother told me a story of something that had just happened to her during the week. She told me this story, not in an over-joyous way, but in a tone of wonder and mystery. It's a story about a clock....

This clock sits inside a globe and is made to sit on a table. It has a golden regulator that spins four little golden globes when it is working. It was a wedding gift to her and my father 37 years ago when they were married. The clock has never worked from the first day.
Mom said, "You remember this clock?", as she pointed to it on the table in the living room. I noticed it was working and I had never seen it work before. I remembered the clock.
She said, "This clock has never worked before and it just started working. Its time is a little fast, but it's working."
"Ha", I said, thinking that it was interesting...wondering why it never worked and just started working.
Then she said, "You know, the funny thing is, it's an answer to a prayer. I said a prayer for something and I thought to myself, 'Why can't I have a sign about this? Why can't it be this clock?' Then not long after, it started working."
This touched me. How we need these signs sometimes! I thought. It's a treasure when we're given one. "Is it the answer you wanted?" I asked her.
"Yes."
"I don't suppose you're going to share what the prayer was?", I asked.
"Nope."
I smiled....and looked at the working clock.



I've had a couple of experiences myself where I believe God was telling me something. Like everyone else, I've also had many dreams, but only a couple that I believe were truly something God was wanting to tell me. I've always kept these things to myself...always remembering that my imagination can make up a wide variety of things and better not to throw out a stumbling block if I'm wrong. I say this because I also think there is a danger of interpretting these kinds of things to mean what we want them to mean. In a way "seeing what we want to see" so-to-speak. But I believe that God does give such things as a gift when we really need assurance. We need to keep our focus on Him, not only what we want for ourselves.


It seems though, in the Bible stories, that God TOLD them that "this is a sign to you...", so how could they get it wrong?

Is it just me, or does it seem like science (and I love science) has seemed to cause people to take a reductionistic view of what once were seen as "magical" or "mysterious"...as something from God?
For example, before science could give a scientific explanation for lightning, it was probably seen as one of the mysterious creations from God, and something that lead people to be awestruck, and at times maybe even thought it as God communicating something (not always but maybe more so than today). Now...although it is still a creation from God, we probably are more likely to see lightning today and not think much of it...Such as it being just the charged electrons reacting when hot and cold air collide...and so forth. In other words, explaining it away or dismissing it because there's a physical scientific explanation for it. Or...maybe...dismissing it just because we're "used to it" or take it for granted.

One example would be the rainbow God sent as a sign to Noah (see Genesis 9:12-17)
God sent the rainbow, but in the verses it says that "God said to Noah, 'This is the sign of the covenant'...." But when we look at a rainbow today, yes we think they're beautiful, but do we remember it as a sign from God, or just think about how it is the reflection of rays from the sun and those rays are bent from water in the air?

I remember once about a few months ago, I was wandering through a large bookstore and came across a book by Frederick Buechner (a great author, by the way!). I picked up a book I've been wanting to buy since it first came out and just haven't done it yet. It's called "Secrets in the Dark". And I remember randomly flipping through the pages and I came across the beginning of a story in the book that told about a young boy. I don't know how old he was, but young...maybe pre-teen or something...with a mouth full of bubblegum, and he was gazing at the stars. The book gives a desciption of the stars he is gazing at...They spell out the words..."GOD EXISTS" (or something really close to that...I'm going by memory here). And as the young boy gazes, wide eyed...staring, chewing on his gum, his response is...."So what."

When I think of signs, our personal signs from God, some people may wonder "Why don't I receive a sign from God about this?"
Well, are we truly looking for it? Do we really believe a sign will be there if we ask Him? Are we keeping Christ at the center of our universe and not ourselves? After all, when we do see a sign, sometimes we realize it has been in front of us all along. Has it always been right in front of us....and we've only been saying "So what?"

If God truly knows our hearts better than we know our own hearts, doesn't he know whether or not we'll recognize a sign when he sends it? Maybe He doesn't send one because He already knows we won't see it for what it is.

I believe we need these signs from time to time. Something inside us needs this wonder and mystery...to know that we are being watched over by someone much greater than ourselves.

I want the eyes of my heart to be open.





Just some thoughts.

Flying Pencils

I once worked in an office where many of my co-workers formed this certain habit. Whenever they would receive a phone call from a customer that would cause them to have to get involved in some sort of problem solving, they would roll their eyes and throw their pencil up in the air....so high sometimes they would stick in the ceiling tiles.

This became so common that there were many times, on my way to get coffee, I'd walk by an office area that contained three separate desks divided by partition walls, and sure enough, there would be a pencil flyin' up and twirling above one of the walls. What would our customers think if they knew how much we rolled our eyes at them?

It's hard sometimes to try to keep from catching a negative attitude the way we try to avoid the flu. I remember trying to feed positive thoughts in my mind to counter the negative atmosphere...It's a contagious thing--negativity.

Why is it that we get so burned out? Our country is so blessed beyond measure in our comforts and the things we have, but yet we still get so negative and so burned out in our jobs. Why? Is there a secret to keeping everything "fresh"...or what I mean is, every situation unique...so that we learn something new every time -- even when the work day seems the same as the day before and the day before that?

Maybe it would be possible if we start realizing the reality of the soul behind the person on the other end of the phone or sitting in front of us. They are a unique person, like you, like me, with their many unique qualities and situations and thoughts....And God loves them...even when you find them the most obnoxious and annoying person on earth. (Many times I've confessed to God that "I'm glad He loves this person because I sure can't!" --- I know this must sound awful...after all, "to love God is to love those that he loves...right!?).

I wonder these things sometimes. I try to remind myself that all my actions are being watched by others. Every action says something about me. Every action they do says something about them. What would they see? I know what I would hope they'd see, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be it. We're always setting an example...either a good one or a bad one.

I think the trick is changing from the inside what we know needs to be changed. If we only change from the outside, we become fakes. But if we change on the inside and not worry about the outside, we have integrety...and that's admired.

Magic and Mystery....oh my!!!

Today is the day that some people are going nuts....
Nuts over Harry Potter. The first day the final book hits the bookstores. All over the news last night they were showing Harry Potter parties. Gozillion of people waiting in lines, dressed as the Harry Potter characters.

This morning, as a watched the TV over coffee, they were interviewing children on why they love Harry Potter so much. Almost all the answers I heard were that they like the way that they feel transported to the magical world of Hogwarts, with all its magic and spells.

Although I don't go "all out" the way these people do over Harry Potter, I have to admit, even as an adult I've enjoyed reading the three Harry Potter books I've read. How fun!

But after listening to the kids on TV, I've wondered to myself, "Why is it that children (and adults) are so drawn to magic, or the "fairy tale" stories...or to escape to that world of imagination?"

I think it stems from desire. Human beings, in general, naturally have a desire for the mysterious, for the miraculous. So many of us don't see it in our everyday world, so we create it, and escape to it. And, if we really ponder about it, we can learn about ourselves from it.

I think we have this desire for a reason. After all, as C.S. Lewis puts it, when we're hungry, we have a desire to eat..there is such a thing as food and eating....We have a desire to sleep when we're tired, there is such a thing as sleeping. And therefore, we have a desire for mystery, for something greater, there is such a thing as God.

I think being able to dive into a book and escape into these worlds is a wonderful and insightful thing. But at the same time, I think we should be careful to not miss out on the magic and mystery that really is in our everyday world. But the power of magic belongs to God. If we forget ourselves, and not crave the magic for our own purposes and let Him use it for His purposes, we will see that He can use us in His magic...and it becomes "magic for us". We have to "decode" it in our hearts....for it's hidden in the every-day things.

My one proof.....

In my last post, I wrote about how God speaks all around us through nature..and gives us hints about Himself.
Well, I can't help but also think about the ways that it can be impossible to see God.

When God takes away innocent children...how in one moment a family is happy and cheerful...in the next moment they learn that they will never see their daughter again due to vicious accident.
Where is God in that?
Or when rape occurs. Or when someone is gunned down for never a good reason.
We're flying along in peace and the next minute we're caught in a web, and in two seconds, it's our complete destruction.
Where is God in that?

The terrible examples of possibilities are endless. And I think to myself that I don't think I could be strong enough...if one of these examples happened in my life. What I mean is...I know I could believe in God, but I'd be extremely mad at Him...or even rebellious towards Him. How could a God of Your nature ALLOW THIS???
And He does allow it. It does happen.

The answer I'm given to these thoughts is not really an answer as to "why", but an answer as a question to make me think on a deeper level. It is the question, "Why is it that you feel that this is terribly wrong? Why does it make you extremely sad, mad, and felt like you've been wronged?"
And I think the fact that there is a wrong and a right...and how strongly we feel it..is proof that there is an Absolute. Even in movies, there is almost always, in every movie, an element of good overcoming evil. If there were no power of Good and power of evil, we would not feel it. A child dying or living would not make a difference to us. There IS an absolute. To me, it is my one, sure proof.

Yes...there's something terribly wrong with this world...and terribly wrong things happen... but isn't that what the Bible said all the way from the beginning??...That this is a fallen world?
I don't think my belief in God can be shaken near as easily as my feelings of Him can. He can make me mad, glad, sad, extremely happy, frustrated, loved beyond measure...I can know He's right here, or feel like He's far away.
The world is chaos...Here I am in it. We need our path lighted to guide us through.

All Creation Speaks...

I think all creation says something of our Creator:

The universe and space tell of the infinity of God...How he is never-ending.
It can be felt when going so deep into a forest that it seems to be dusk when the sun is overhead because of the thickness of the trees among the steep hillside, the hidden water falls, and how there is another world just beneath our feet on the forest floor. To see the sunset from a mountain... the bright gold onto the orange, mixing with the purple..the light blue hues getting darker as the eyes move to straight above and the stars start to shine through -- the curtains are opening.

The cute-ness of a puppy's face, the butterfly's wings...speak of God's gentleness.
The tornadoes can tell of the fierceness of God.
The calm of the forest and a sunset can tell of the peace of God.
A blowfish can tell of the humor of God.
The ocean can tell of the vastness and how big hugs are from Him.
Wild animals can tell of the wildness.
The sky and stars can speak of His infinity.
Big strong oak trees can tell of His patience.
Even the forest, though it is made up of many different trees, plants, mushrooms, wild flowers, decay...can tell how it all comes together to be one large living organism...much like an example of how Christ's Church should be -- one large organism with it's many different forms built in to one.
In short...I think each part of God's creation tells a little bit of something about Himself....and reminds us of how small we are.

There's always something more to learn in creation...the deeper we dig, the more complex it gets...whether we're looking into the universe with telescope or into a cell with a microscope.

Riding on the back of a Harley for a day or spending time in a forest during a run...and looking at nature, has lead me to know that Creation Speaks.
It speaks loud.
It knows something.
And it's a secret to some, but proclaims it loud to others...It's all a matter of where your heart lays.
Every tree, every plant, every flower, every star, every bird...even the wind....they know something.
And they proclaim it. They proclaim it loud. We have to be quiet enough...quiet enough in our hearts to hear it. "Be still, and know that I am God".
And I begin to understand.....what Jesus meant when asked to rebuke His followers as He rode into Jerusalem..."Even if they kept quiet, the stones would cry out" Jesus said.
I love the saying that "..science can tell you what a star is made of...it can never tell you what it IS". ...Why it's there.
I think I have the least in common with an atheist than anyone else. At least people of other religions, though I disagree with them and they disagree with me on beliefs, can recognize the there exists a spiritual world. I can't understand anyone who cannot see it.
It's nothing personal against atheists...I respect their position, I just can't seem to see their point of view. Every point of view I try to look, I can't see it without God being the backbone...the one who comes into view if we step back and look at the bigger picture.

"Home"

The saying is..."Home is where the heart is".

Have you ever thought what exactly "home" meant to you?
For me, it has always meant where my family is...that same living room, that same back yard where memories are made. And "home" is both the place where I grew up or the home I share with my husband.

I was on my way to go running at Bernheim Forest when a song by Rich Mullins played in my CD player ("If I Stand") and made me think of home. Part of his words are: "...If I sing let me sing for the joy, that is born in me this song, and if I weep let it be as a man - who is longing for his home."

And it made me think of what I identify as home. I want to "long" for heaven as my home. I want Christ to be more familiar and more intimate to me so that He would be closer than anyone in my family -- and long for Him and heaven as my "home". To have my heart there....to store my treasures there. And it was also my prayer.

I don't mean this in a way of taking anything away from my home here on earth. I just mean it in a way that my longing for my home in heaven to be that much more.

Why I love to run...

1. It helps keep me in shape.
2. It makes me feel better physically and mentally.
3. It's my no. 1 incentive to stay a non-smoker no matter how bad I crave a cigarette.
4. It's my time to be by myself.
5. My time to meditate.
6. My time to become apart of nature -- to run into the forest on the paved (or unpaved) paths. Breathe in that smell of the forest.
7. My time when I don't have to think....just run.
8. No matter how short or long a distance I go, I am my own competitor.
9. I can set my own goals.
10. It can be done pretty much anywhere...just have a good pair of running shoes handy.
11. It's addicting.
12. Afterwards I feel like I deserve that glass of wine in the whirlpool tub.
13. I love to do it for ME. It's MY thing.
14. And my dog loves it too!

The girl at the other table....

Have you ever sat in a restaurant...or any place for that matter, and watched people? I was sitting in a restaurant the other day, completely oblivious to the conversation at our own table (it involved co-workers of my husband and a sales rep who was treating us to the dinner -- it was a conversation all about business), and I happened to glance at the table next to us. Sitting there were about five females and one male in the bunch. One girl in the bunch seemed unique to me. She had coal black hair cropped off just below the ears, thick rimmed glasses, an artsy and modern necklace which had one large circular pendant. She looked classy, eccentric. And I thought to myself as I watched her body language as she engaged in a conversation with the others at her table..."I bet she's the type of girl I'd love to be friends with. I just bet she likes to talk about the "deeper" side of things...How interesting I bet she is."...(I don't know why I think this.... She just had that 'air' about her). And I became envious of her other friends at the table.
(I think these thoughts stem from the fact that I get tired of always only hitting the surface of things when I talk with others around me. Are all the doors under the first layer always closed? Are mine closed?)
All this is what I thought just based on a first impression, an assumption all from a couple minute glance...I never have and never will engage in a conversation with her. ....and I've already had an opinion about her, turned her into someone she may or may not be... And, oh how first impressions can deceive us! We can never judge a book by it's cover. And whose to say...maybe they're only scratching the surfaces, too, with their conversations.
But this was a reminder to myself...a reminder that things are usually not as they first appear to be.
If I'm really wishing for a friend like the false portrait I've painted by watching that other table, I've gotta ask myself.."Why is it that you don't have that kind of friend now?" Maybe I haven't looked hard enough. Maybe it's because I'm such an introvert and private person.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"...right? Maybe I should open up and start conversations on the deeper side with others, and maybe they will too. Maybe I can become like her....not really like her...my own unique self, but with my presumption of what she might be like, to have that characteristic of what I'd like about someone else.

Why "To the Stars?.."

Why did I choose the name "To the Stars" as my blog title? Because that is the meaning of my name Adastra..."ad astra" means "to the stars" in latin. (Okay, okay....no, it's not my real name...)...

I chose this name for many reasons. First, let me quote a verse from the Bible..."The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." Psalm 19:1-4.

I love these verses!

There is no limit to the heavens above, and sometimes I can stare at the night sky, or a sunset and be completely awestruck at its beauty...or ponder even further about what is says of our Creator. ... "Night after night they display knowledge"

It's a beautiful thing...to take a moment and look up in amazement. Why is it that I never catch anyone else doing the same? Am I alone in this? Is life just too busy? I know myself that sometimes it is...But I believe we make time for what is really important to us....at least as much as we can.

But all in all, "to the stars" describes me. I'm always pondering on the mysteries of God...and often I think I have my head in the clouds...or "to the stars".


And the universe is filled with mystery!! So...the title to my blog is "to the stars"...meaning I post about anything...any subject from the depth of the sea to the stars above.

My first post...

This is my first blog and why I created this, I don't know. I'm not sure if I'll even find time to devote to it...I guess it is for my own general knowledge on how to blog and to learn from it. An experiment of sort. Technology is growing so fast. I don't have any specific goals in mind -- when it comes to this blog, although it would be nice if, through it, I were able to find other women friends with similar interests or just for discussion.

I'm thinking I could write on this blog instead of my personal journal. But would I be comfortable with anyone out there reading my thoughts? Who in the world would care what my thoughts were?